Mixed Messages....

Was watching GMA this morning and they showed a report that just boggled my mind. A girl on the east coast had received a call from a friend who had attended a party where there was underage drinking the friend knew that if she drove in her condition, there was a good chance she would never make it home either because she would have wrapped herself around something or killed someone, so she called this girl. The girl who had not attended as she had been working at her job that day went to be a good Samaritan and drive her friend. Shortly after getting to the location where the party was being held the police showed up. Now understand the police never arrested her, they didn't take her into custody and she was in fact able to take her friend home, but her school who has a 'zero tolerance' policy about parties with underage drinking suspended the "good Samaritan" from school for 5 days and removed her from the volleyball team as captain. Now understand she had not been drinking and was never even taken into custody for it, but the school claimed in their appointment that she had. Her family is fighting to get her back into school and have the incident expunged from her record, since it could harm her chances of getting into college. Also this student is an honor roll student and does not normally go out to parties of this nature. This has also enraged the parents of the girl that she was there to pick up. The family has been told basically by the courts that there isn't anything they can do to overtime the schools ruling, which I think is utterly ridiculous since they can at any other time over turn school rulings and have in the past. I'm a little upset with the school since the message that they are sending to students is that being a good samaritan will get you into trouble. Would they rather have these students drive themselves then ask for help. Also didn't it ever occur to the school that maybe the drunk student couldn't call family since they may have been out of town at the time and that the good samaritan was the last choice before driving in her condition. It really is a massive mixed signals message, saying that if you get a call don't go help since it will only get you into trouble. I understand the concept behind the zero tolerance policy and applaud it but that doesn't mean that they should punish the people trying to do the right thing and save lives. We as parents try and teach our children to help their fellow man and then schools, agencies, and companies come along and punish them when they do what we would want them to do in the situation, it really hurts our efforts as parent and makes for even more trouble because it in stills in that child that if they get into trouble no one is going to be there for fear of the same thing. If the school really wanted to punish someone punish the kid who held the party, punish the girl who attended and needed the ride, but for pity sake don't punish the girl trying to do the right thing. Just more thoughts from the mom cop.

What happen to knowing how to behave in a theater....

I went to the movies a few days ago and it was the first time in a couple of months that I had. I have noticed and the opinion for this past week on Sunday morning that I enjoy watching also pointed this out that people have forgotten how to behave in movie theaters. I went to see the mortal instruments: city of bones; which is a movie that I had been curious about and had not read the book on and so it was film that was going to require me to pay attention to catch pertinent plot points. This was made next to impossible as even though I had gone to the last showing in an outlying area theater, I might as well have been downtown or at the other big theater mega plex at midday. The people in theater felt that they needed to keep up a running commentary throughout the film. I spent more time being aware of what the people around me we're saying instead of the actors on screen. The opinion given was of a similar vain, why do people feel that they need to be on their phones, and texting and discussing other things at volume that although low is still just loud enough to keep other people distracted? I almost did what the guy who gave the opinion had done: stand up in the theater, turn around to the people behind me and scream at them "SHUT UP!", but then I remember what he said I would have been the exact same thing, another interruption that wouldn't have been right. Theater operators comment that torrent sites like kickass and pisexy are taking away their profits with films and keeping people from going to the theater, but I have to say that that isn't true. It's not the theater rates, or the other "extras" that are keeping patrons away, it's the other theater goers. It's more entertaining to be able to sit in your own home watching a film that would have cost you and your family nearly a full days wages to see in theater without 75-80 other people talking through it than to pay that and not be able to enjoy the film. I would rather stay home watching a ripped copy of a film, than pay almost $35 and not be able to enjoy the film that cost me half a tank of gas. If theaters don't want to keep loosing patrons, then they need to take a page out of the book that Alamo theaters did and physically eject people who don't abide by the rules. Watch the Sunday morning opinion section for this past Sunday and you will see what I mean it is worth the viewing. Just another tidbit from the mom cop.

Role Models and Unrealistic Epectations

I was watching the show the View this morning, and one of the opening topics for discussion was Miley Cyrus and how she was the number 1 "bad role model" for girl empowerment. And at one point they brought up Hannah Montana. The four hosts were Whoopi Goldberg-who I think is just made of complete awesomeness, Sherri Shepard another made of complete awesomeness, and two guest hosts. The context of the discussion revolved around whether Miley was encouraging the sexualization of young girls and that her current adult behavior was encouraging young girls to be more sexual. And Whoopi made the comment, and I had to agree with it. Miley Cyrus is an adult and if she wants to act a certain way that is her choice, if you are still connecting her real life behavior with that of a fictional character that she portrayed as a child then you are the one at fault and you need to stop. She is an adult. One of the guest hosts who is a black male comedian pointed out- that parents should be the role models for their kids and that by pushing that responsibility off on celebrities and then penalizing them for acting as they wish is your fault. Hannah Montana was a character on a show and not a real person. Miley Cyrus is a real person, but she is also an adult and by the way, if you as a parent are letting your kids watch Miley now then you need your head examined. She is writing her music for an adult female audience not young girls. I don't care if she was portraying a character that young girls wanted to emulate, the character was fiction not real. If society can't make the distinction between what is fiction and what is real then people need to seek psychiatric help. I agree with most of what some of the hosts said about how we as parents let our kids watch shows that show young girls characters in different ways and that our young daughters want to emulate in real life, but I make it a point to explain to my daughter that these are not real people; the real people playing them are just that. They are acting out a role of a character in a fictional universe. I also explain that the behavior that these actors are doing is not who they are. We need to reevaluate how we as a society promote role models to our children. Role models need to be someone that our kids can say 'I would like to be LIKE that person....' not 'I WANT to BE that person...' Role Models also should not be held to an unrealistic standard, after all they are not any different from you or I, they are humans like the rest of us. Role Models also should not be entertainers. They should be people like President Obama and First lady Michelle Obama, or on this day of remembrance Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., or the great Eleanor Roosevelt, or Jackie Kennedy, or Robin Roberts, or and this is going to sound pretentious but Princess Diana, or the Duchess of Cambridge Princess Kate. These are people would should want our kids looking up to for their great works and the powers for change that they started or have made. Role Models by the very name should make a person want to take on that role: President, first lady, etc. If the role model is someone that is an entertainer let it be because they used their fame for change like Angelina Jolie, she is a member of the United Nations humanitarian effort. That is a good person to want to be like. Making a splash to make a difference. Finally on the topic of role models I have one last thing to say and it was something that one of the hosts said and I agree: if you want a role model for your child or children, then let it be you. You be the role model and make for them a person that they want to emulate and strive to be like. For me my role models were my mother and my grandmother. My mother has strived to uphold the law for more than 25 years, and my grandmother was a great educator for our county till she passed away. They have in stilled in my a drive to uphold the law and make a difference, and that is what I hope my daughter will remember about me when asked who her role model was or is.
Words from the mom cops.

"Quiet time" and Curfews...

As I have mentioned previously, I'm not only a future member of law enforcement I'm a mom and a wife. So the concept of "quiet-time" laws and curfews when I was younger offended me. Now though I get the need for them and the desire to ENFORCE them. I live in a place where the homes are nearly right on top of each other, no it is not an apartment building, but similar in nature. In our neighborhood are regulations you might think of them as CCR's for conduct within the neighborhood boundaries, one of those rules is that all loud music or noise must be down or off by 10 pm. When I was younger I thought who cares what time I shut off my music; if I want to be outside still partying at 1 or 2 in the morning I should have that right. Now as a parent I have come to appreciate those rules, since getting little kids to sleep at a certain time and making sure that they go to sleep is hard enough, but when there is major distractions outside, it just makes it that much harder. 
 With the curfew it kind of works with the quiet time laws as a kid is not likely to be where they shouldn't if they are respecting the quiet time laws, they are more than likely to be at home where they should be. The need for respecting the quiet time laws really makes one think that even though you think they are a nuisance they have a purpose and are actually written as a way of giving parents and other adults with young kids a break. So the next time your neighbor comes out and it is after 11 pm and they ask you to shut off or turn down the music, know that they aren't saying it to be a pain, and put your self in their position and cut them a break and do as your asked. They are just trying to get a cranky, rowdy, munchkin to bed and your just making it harder. So be a good neighbor and help out. Another bit of advice from the mom cop.